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As The Daily Orange guides readers on everything about 4/20, I wanted to join the fun and contribute some thoughts of my own. I was very confused as to why I needed to speak on National Lima Bean Respect Day. But then it hit me — they saw that I was in great shape and wanted me to help other people be as fit as I am. So I am here to rank all the best vegetables on National Lima Bean Respect Day.

April Fools! Man, what a crazy prank. I know what 4/20 is. I’m in tune with what all the cool people are up to these days. I hope my mom is OK with reading about my thoughts on this stuff, especially because she didn’t sign any permission slips. But oh well, I’m going to have to be a rebel at some point.

Anyway, 4/20 has become a day celebrated by many. It’s one of the few days where being high in public is accepted. But, there are still some ways that you can try to hide it without people knowing that you are on the weed. So here are some tips and tricks.

First, the obvious: sunglasses. The allergy excuse can only go so far. And plus, you can look super mysterious, like one of those professional poker players who wears sunglasses at the table. Maybe you can just walk around with a deck of cards so people think you’re a pro.

Another problem that can come out of being high in public is laughing and giggling at absolutely nothing. So, I have a solution to this. Have headphones in and only listen to sad music. At least you won’t be giggling if you’re sobbing to Olivia Rodrigo in the back of Chipotle.

And lastly, being paranoid could also be a problem when high in public. So, the only way around that is to say hi and shake hands with every single person you come across. That way, no one can hurt you if everyone is your friend.

Basically, you should be wearing sunglasses and crying to sad music, but also becoming best friends with everyone you see. That doesn’t sound too hard. If you do those things you should be fine. And if it works, please give me credit; I am dying for attention and praise.

Published on April 20, 2022 at 12:43 am